Whispers from God

MY PAIN HAS PURPOSE, MY PROBLEMS, STRUGGLES, HEARTACHES, AND HASSLES COOPERATE TOWARD ONE END - THE GLORY OF GOD

I never had these books and bibles before. However in 2008 God gave me several tests. My daughter was diagnosed of kawasaki disease. On top of this,  I was swindled by  a business partner whom I thought was a real partner . Up to now I have not recovered from my losses but I believed in time God will give me deliverance, God will bring restoration. ( He already started doing it).  Instead of bringing her to court, I lifted it all to our true JUDGE, Our GOD.

 

September 0f 2008 was my turning point. That experience was like a slow death.  I had my share of depression and eating was my way of coping. I avoided going out with friends because I did not want them to know the pain and the burden I was going through. That experience gave me realization that only God never fails. I expected so much from few people  who could help me out from that pit but then again.. very true only God never fails. Thanks to Stormie Omartian for her book The Power of a Praying Woman.

Then it dawned on me that the only way to solve my problem was to FACE it boldly. I traveled inward asking  why God allowed it to happen.  Many times I asked God why? I remembered when my daughter was in the hospital as she battled for kawasaki disease I made a deal with God. I asked HIM to heal Lexia and instead let me carry all the pain, all the hardships. I realized I made a big mistake. God is a big God. I could have prayed for perfect healing then.  Somehow I put God in a box. I forgot that He is all powerful a God of healing and a God of provisions.  That i would say was leaning on my own understanding. I was such a big fool.

 

  

 

Then I started digging what went wrong all along. I learned to accept that because GREED was eating me up, I also allowed it to happen. I was earning well enough from the money I invested with a friend. Those were the dollars I accumulated from my husband's compensation as well as my savings. The worst thing was I also invited other friends to invest. That added my burden.

 

Then I also learned to take away my ANGER and my PRIDE. I learned to forgive myself and I learned to release forgiveness as well. I reconnected  my self with God, my BLESSOR, my CREATOR, my SOURCE.

 

 

I will walk you through on how God walked with me in every page of this journey.

 

God has been so good to me. One day He unfolded  the truth. I never learned my lessons. Yes I was stubborn. My sister Joancille already warned me not to help this person because she already sensed she swindled  me.  In my heart I would still like to help  financially so  she could also pay me of her debts. I financed the Kalamansi business which we would ship to Cebu and Manila at Divisoria. Later on I learned she was not being truthful in her dealings. I had additional losses again. Well this is the price of not taking heed. Again.. I leaned on my own  understanding. I hope people who read this post will take prudence in dealing business with friends especially  if you are not hands on with the business.   Now I understand why all our business dealings would go in vain. She was never transparent. Her deception was too painful. It was like killing me softly.  I would not want to count the cost and the help  I extended but it made me asked, Is this the price of being KIND?  Then God whispered to me...  Yes you are kind. It's just that you strove to be a heroine  to this person. It struck  me. Yes... THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. Thank you  Max Lucado for this book.

I learned I crossed the threshhold. As what Max Lucado said

" WHEN OUR DEEPEST DESIRE IS NOT THE THINGS OF GOD, OR A FAVOR FROM GOD WE CROSS A THRESHOLD"

 I do not blame my suffering in this world on the anger of God. He is not mad at me. He didn't mess up. I believed just like a father He was  there to give a little pinch, a little discipline. If we follow our troubles to their headwaters we wont' find a befuddled God but we find a SOVEREIGN GOD.

 

I would  also like to  credit  Mr. Charles Stanley. Of course He does not know me but this guy blessed me a lot. He is so annointed. Everytime I felt so low in the past I would open his bible LIFE PRINCIPLES BIBLE. This is wonderfully made. Life's lessons gave me more insights. This is one of the most expensive bibles  I bought but it's worth is definitely more than gold. I am a follower of his domain www.intouch.org.

 

 Together with Dr. Charles Stanley, a Devotional Bible of Max Lucado helped me a lot.  While the kids play soccer I can just sit in the ground and leaf.

 

 

I also love Bible of  NLT Translation . It is easier to understand. I have pocket size one I should be carrying in my bag and one large print for daily devotion. What makes it more special is this book mark made by Lexia.  She surprised me one day with this one.

 

I also have another inspiration. I purchased E-Books from prayer coaches abroad but my purchases with Bo Sanchez blessed me with this one in my inbox. I would be receiving email from time to time a very personal one ( Godswhisper).  This is the first  thing  I would open in my mail box. I get  excited. It's like God talking to me.

 

This I believed is a confirmation from God. Yes I want to be  unstoppable. Thank you Lord for this message. I will do something to reach my dreams. Writing is just one of those. I dreamed for your  deliverance, I dreamed to be your mouth piece, I dreamed to be an overcomer, I dreamed to regain from my losses, I dreamed to see your place.  I dreamed for my  kids to be successful one day and be at your service, I dreamed for me and Nonoy to look at our grand children one day while we sit in our rocking chairs. I dreamed for our hometown to be rebuild. I would still prefer Cateel to be our retirement home.

 

 

Further, Going through this battle is  not  easy. I would say it's the HARDEST. The most painful. The most difficult thing.  I am not where I am now with out them.

They are my pillars of strength. I now undersrtand why God  gave them to me. With out my kids, maybe I already jumped off the bridge or from a cliff . Truly they are my TREASURES. It's always my pleasure to hear good words from their teacher or from other people that I am blessed with two wonderful kids.  Yoowan in year 2009 ( less than 2 years old), would sing me a song of Don Moen, God will make a Way while I drove  them off to school.  When he was 3 years old, He saw me crying, it pierced my heart   when he held my face and told me.. It's alright MOTHER we're gona be fine. Everytime I leaf that page of my life.. I could not help but  cry. Tears are again rolling down my face.  Lexia on the other hand has always something for me to carry. A note on how much she loved me, a pair of earing she made or a little shell. You check the pockets of my bag now. It's there. Bringing them is also like having her around. Yoowan's tooth fell off yesterday for the first time. Lexia was camping last night. First time to sleep outside our house. They are growing up so fast. To me they will always be my babies. I know I could not hold them physically all the time but FOREVER they will be in my HEART. My pillars of strength.

 

With out Mamay, Granny, Nonoy, My Sisters, My In laws, my Friends, My Prayer Warriors and my other DIVINE HELPERS, the journey could have been so rough. And God sustained me. Yes... God is real. I have experienced His presence many times. At times He may be silent but He would always come to my rescue at the perfect time.  I can never outgive God. His mercies are new everyday. His love never fails and Yes.....  He never gives up on me ( As the song goes).  I know God is not done with me yet. I just heard HIM whisper this......

 

YOUR TRIALS TODAY WILL BE TOMMOROW'S TESTIMONY.